oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
