Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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