So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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