there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
operation harelip BJ is a go
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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