I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
