Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize