So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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