There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
