Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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