well he's currently spooning the coffee table
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You've changed since you got that strap on
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
