I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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