you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
