I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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