Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
