So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
