operation harelip BJ is a go
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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