Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
