we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
