Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
