DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
