I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
