blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize