Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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