Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
