they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
