once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
