Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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