Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
