Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize