Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
