Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
