I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
