Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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