just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize