Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
