...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
