got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
