i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
