if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
