I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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