I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
