I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize