Pants 0. Shit 1.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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