I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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