what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
