Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
