I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
