is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
