He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize