I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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