I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
