Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
