I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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