they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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