Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Randomize
