is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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