Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
