I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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